• Chuck Bronson

Breakfast Bureaucracy

Updated: Jan 7, 2019

This breakfast served till 10:00a.m. is a bunch of horseshit. Who wakes up that early and also has time to stop for breakfast? Nobody. Anybody who has to be out the door before ten in the morning doesn't have time have to stop for breakfast. If they had extra time they would just sleep later.

People who have the time to go enjoy a leisurely breakfast, are people who don't wake up in time for the conventional breakfast time anyways. I have time for leisure noms because I'm a damn comedian. I don't wake up early for shit. That's half the fun of the job. I wake up around 10; smoke, take the dog for a walk, make myself presentable for the public, smoke some more, watch a few youtubes then go to breakfast promptly around 1:15 pm. To my dismay most places have already stopped serving breakfast. I was recently traumatized by a vicious and crude employee recently, I asked if I may see a breakfast menu and the witch cruelly spewed "breakfast is served at breakfast time". I was triggered. I don't care what time of the day first meal comes, first meal is breakfast food. No good has ever come from a breakfast burrito served before the hour of 9am. Have you ever been to a construction site when the roach coach rolls in for breakfast? The constitution can't handle these abuses at this hour. Those boys start throwin' down BBC's (Breakfast burrito's and coffee) that early, you're going to have a situation in the outhouse. Your project is going off schedule and over budget.

I don't know if this is some sort of corporate greed manifest in the breakfast food sector, organized crime running a racket, or over zealous religious fanatic's believing afternoonal breakfast burritos are a sin against their creator. Some form of evil has dominion over the breakfast service industry that much is clear. Our fore fathers didn't wage war with the British for us to be told when and where we can eat breakfast. Abolish the breakfast curfew!


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